I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
