What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
