forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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