i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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