Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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