Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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