I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he was CRYING into my vagina
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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