my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
