also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There r osticjed everywhere
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
