on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
