How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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