my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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