omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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