I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
last night I used snow as a chaser
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
