Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
