are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
