How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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