i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
