Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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