I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
