how can u be prego again
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
