Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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