you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
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I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
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If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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