Sry I called you an 8
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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