I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
