Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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