I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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