we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
