Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
