I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
