wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
