theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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