She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
