3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
