So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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