i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My pussy is not your playground.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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