Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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