Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
