she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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