Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Come on in and take your pants off
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