I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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