Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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