areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
