She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
