Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
