sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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