i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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