but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
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