vagina is talking i cant
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize