I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
