so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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