im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
