i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My pussy is not your playground.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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