pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
