And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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