i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
