Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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