I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just found puke in my bra..
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
