just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
