I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
