I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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