honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She's just so happy...and so naked.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
