How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
