She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
