hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
