Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
