Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
