You're my little dorito
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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