The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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