Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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