hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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