That's intense
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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